Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
