Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
