I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
