She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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