i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
