Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
