my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
