Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize