You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
