I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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