People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
