i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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