I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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