hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
