I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
