when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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