when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize