Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
