I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
