Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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