He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
