At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Everyone says I win the strip club
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
