If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
As shirtless as possible
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
