So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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