watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
