is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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