So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
