Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize