Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Actions speak louder than pants.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
