I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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