did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize