Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
