That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
