Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
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I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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