Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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