Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
