It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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