His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
