Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
im having a threesome with these popsicles
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Randomize
