I wannas sexs uuuuu
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
