Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
