the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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