On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
When did angry sex become our thing?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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