Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
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I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
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Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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