Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
