I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
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It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
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Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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