I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
