He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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