Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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