It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
