Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm both gender and math confused
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
