i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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