I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
