So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
