those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
