i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I can text with my tongue
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
