i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
