Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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