i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize
