She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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