beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
