Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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