walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
