Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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