I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
