So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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