I wannas sexs uuuuu
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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