we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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