I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
