at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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