You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
