I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize