please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Still dying that you shit outside
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
