just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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